Why am i here? <<open>>

[miranda leroy carter]

Miranda Leroy carter sat in the lounge of the counselors office at Kayson. she didn’t know what she was going to do here. she knew that they would only try to help her. she felt out of place here, like she didn’t belong. Though she knew that she did. She couldn’t help but think that they would judge her for how she is. Its not her fault that her uncle did what he did and ruined her life. She wondered if she would have to talk to someone about it. perhaps she could lie about it. come up with a different past.

She shook her head. No doubt they already had an idea about what happened to her. this school was filled with people just like her. but maybe she could lie her way through it. she just hoped she could make friends here. but it wasn’t likely. She was really shy and didn’t really like to talk to people often. They always seemed to ask her what was wrong and why she was where she was. But she didn’t like talking about her life. It caused her pain. And she didn’t like feeling any kind of pain. It made her want to use more than anything.

She let tears fall down her face. She didn’t like crying but thinking about her past made her. she hated her life, but she couldn’t change anything now. it wasn’t her fault that her uncle did what he did. And it wasn’t her fault that her girlfriend broke up with her. but maybe it was. Maybe all that happened to her was her fault. Maybe if she wasn’t so beautiful. Maybe if she didn’t have such an appeal to people. She couldn’t understand anything about her life. It was all confusing to her. like everything else in her life.[/font]

[elizabeth marie hannon]

Effy wasn’t sure what was going on but she had been called to the counsellors office. Effy didn’t spend that much time in the counsellors office compared to some of the other students and she was pretty sure that was because what she had wasn’t curable. Effy knew that they wanted to stop the druggies taking drugs, and work out why the sex addicts were addicted to sex but with her there wasn’t much she could do. Sure, they could prescribe her drugs or convince her to take them but usually they just left her to it. That was why the small brunette was surprised to find herself being asked to go to the counsellors office. Effy knew that if it wasn’t for her sister she probably wouldn’t even be a Kayson. There wasn’t really anything she could gain from being at Kayson but she knew her sister could, she could get back to being the relaxed twin that Effy was used to. Effy didn’t find that many people in Kayson that knew what it was like to almost have two personalities, no-one else was like her and on one hand she liked that, it made her different, it made her stand out. Effy wasn’t one for following the crowds, she wasn’t sure why but she just liked to stand out and having something no-one else did made her do exactly that.

Effy walked relatively slowly, her blue converses slightly squeaking as she walked. As well as those she wore a little grey dress with purple and blue stripes which may have seemed a little dressed up but that was what Effy usually wore. Effy didn’t like being a plain Jane, she preferred to make people look at her as she walked down the halls, she just hoped it wasn’t a bad impression she was giving. Effy knew that being identical to her twin sister meant that her face wasn’t going to get her individual attention, just twin attention but she decided to use the clothes to separate herself from the girl that looked just the same. Effy loved her twin sister but sometimes the whole identical thing got a little annoying, especially when people assumed she had the problem her sister had. Effy and her sister were too very different people and she liked to make that obvious. Effy loved being connected to her sister, she thought her sister was amazing but sometimes it got annoying when she had to correct people who had mistaken her for her sister. Effy wouldn’t change anything though, sure at times she wished her sister didn’t look like her but it was nice too. They could easily borrow each others clothes because if it suited one of them it would suit the other too.

Effy entered the office and noticed a girl sitting there with tears falling down her face. The girl looked a lot older than Effy but it also seemed she hadn’t been at Kayson as long as the sixteen year old had. Effy walked towards her but was interrupted by a counsellor looking towards her, “Elizabeth Hannon meet Miranda Carter” he said to Effy. Effy smiled and moved towards the girl, “Elizabeth will be showing you around the place”

[/i] he finished before leaving the area and back to his office. “hi” Effy said, extending her hand to the girl, “ignore what he said, please call me Effy” she said with a soft smile to the girl that sat with a tear on her cheek. Effy knew the girl was new, it was obvious from the tears that she wasn’t used to being at Kayson and obviously if she was showing her around then obviously she hadn’t been around long. “so you’re new here right?” she asked the girl that sat I front of her. Effy didn’t know what else to say to the clearly older girl, this seemed enough until she had gotten replies from the girl that she was supposed to take around. Effy looked at Miranda and began to wonder why she had been the one put up to showing her around, they weren’t the same age and they didn’t seem like the same sort of person, Effy assumed the girl must be bipolar but she was wrong.[/blockquote][/size]

[miranda leroy carter]

Leroy looked at Effy before wipping her tears away. "Nice to meet you Effy. Call me Mir or Leroy. Miranda is just so common." She didnt know why the counelors decided to match her up with Effy. She looked about 16, and didn't seem like she would have the same problem as Leroy did. But what did she know right? She was new here.

"Yeah, today's my first day," leroy said, smiling again before she stood up. Her deep red dress with matching knee high boots straightened up a little as she did so. She didnt know why she decided to wear the dress today. Maybe she wanted to seem like she was normal a little. She wondered what Effy was doing here, but didnt ask. Leroy wasnt one for prying.

"So, any good places to be right now? Or do we just walk aimlessly around untill we find something to do?" Leroy asked, picking up her purse. She wondered if there were any hot guys here. She would love to break some rules on her first day. Maybe she would get kicked out for bad behavior. And then go back to her life being known as a little whore, and having her uncle...She let the thoughts trail. She didnt want to go back to that life.

"I'm here for Sex Addiction, what about you?" Leroy asked, deciding that telling Effy her reason would get Effy to tell Leroy hers. But than again, Effy may judge her and not want to be her friend, but o well. Whats done is done right?

[elizabeth marie hannon]

Effy watched the girl wipe away her tears and then speak. “nice to meet you too Mir” she said, deciding upon that name, it seemed Effy wasn’t the only one that disliked her name. Effy was still perplexed over why she had been put in charge of looking after Miranda. She had an idea that it was because Effy was one of the most settled in at Kayson. Effy didn’t mind being there because it meant she got to look after her sister. Effy knew that everything was different for her, she didn’t have an addiction which it seemed everyone else did, she wasn’t really fighting anything. Effy didn’t try to escape or break the rules, she just didn’t take her pills which sure was a technically breaking a rule but Effy felt that sometimes it was keeping the rule. No drugs were allowed at Kayson and technically her pills were drugs and so by breaking her own specific rules she was following the others. Effy knew that the fact she didn’t want to just leave and go home surprised many of the other residents but it made a lot of sense to her, she had no need to escape, being at Kayson was just like being at Boarding School and she actually liked being away from home at times, at least in Scotland her accent made her different and as I spoke about earlier, Effy liked being different.

“cool” Effy said as she spoke about it being her first day, Effy could still remember her first day, the hundreds of strange looks she got because her voice sounded different to everyone else’s, the people that gave her a second look when they saw the two girls who looked exactly the same. Effy was now known by most of the school, either as the bipolar girl, the twin girl or maybe just Effy Hannon. Effy didn’t mind either way really; sure she preferred to be known as herself rather than the connection with her sister or the disorder she had but to Effy being known was being known as long as it wasn’t for something bad. Effy wasn’t one of those people that would do anything for attention, she wanted to be known as good things, not bad things. Effy wasn’t a slut and never would be, she wasn’t one of those girls that only wore knee length skirts though either, she was the happy median.

Effy looked at the girl as she asked what they could do. “well here there is only the normal school stuff but then if you can get out there is stuff in the town like a movie theatre and a café” she said to her with a soft smile. “and there is a club but you would have to get a night pass for that and that takes a lot of persuasion” she said to her. Effy was able to get night passes because she had been there for a while and was well behaved but Miranda was brand new and it took a little time for them to get trust with the counsellors. Effy listened to the girl say what she was in for but wasn’t really surprised by it, she knew many people with the same problem and she had already made a guess at what the girl had. Now she knew her problem Effy was pretty sure the girl wouldn’t get a night pass. “I am bipolar” she said to the girl, though she was sure the girl wouldn’t know what it was. It meant that Effy’s moods changed quickly but a lot of people didn’t even know the condition existed. It was also called Manic Depression but Effy didn’t like calling it that because that made it seem worse than she thought it was.

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[miranda leroy carter]

Mir smiled at effy. So she would have to get a pass if she wanted to go clubbing. No problem. Mir knew that she could lie and persuade her way into anything. She grinned and said, “So their pretty tough with students here? or is that all in the ads so parents send their kids here.” She was just joking when she asked her questions, but in the back of her mind she was really wondering what it was going to be like here. She adjusted the strap on her bag before heading towards the door out of the office. This place gave her the creeps.

She thought about the rules that the counselors had told her. So many of them would be broken in no time, and she knew that it would mostly be her fault. She thought about the fact that she would have to go to the office at least twice a week. That was going to get old real fast. She shook her head a little and sighed. This was going to be the longest time she’s ever spent in one place that knew what she was. How was she going to hide her secret now? Most everyone will find out about it sooner or later.

“ anything fun to do here while we wait for classes?” Mir asked, looking around. The hall way was empty, for which she was thankful. She didn’t know how she would do with big crowds right now. At a party she was out going but when she had to mingle. She sighed, she would have a hard time adjusting to life here. Classes and whatnot weren’t her thing. She had dropped out of high school because it ran into her party time. Now she was basically being forced back to high school. She hated her parents.

[elizabeth marie hannon]

Effy saw the girl smile and knew she thought she could blag her way to getting a pass but it was actually harder than most people anticipated. It was pretty easy for Effy, as long as she kept filling out her mood diary then she was allowed out and that diary was actually relatively fun to fill in. Effy listened as the girl asked about the counsellors being tough, “they aren’t that tough you just have to get them to trust you” she said with a soft smile, she had a feeling this girl would get them eating out of the palm of her hand. Effy knew there were a few students that could do that, she wasn’t one of them and that was normally because when the counsellors annoyed her she got wound up and would get very violent, usually they tried to keep her mood stable and telling her she couldn’t do something was a sure fire way of creating an unstable mood. The only person that could really calm Effy down when she was that wound up was her twin sister and the whole campus knew that, the poor girl often had people searching for her saying you need to sort out your sister.

Effy followed the girl as she walked towards the hallway, still perplexed over why she had been chosen to look after the girl that was so much older than herself. Effy felt that it probably had something to do with integrating her into the school, Effy was a relatively popular girl and even with the students that were near Miranda’s age, plus they probably felt that Miranda was likely to adopt another problem if left with someone else but at least she couldn’t exactly just suddenly become bipolar. Effy knew that the counsellors were careful over who they paired up, they didn’t want to put suicidals with suicidals in case they shared tips but then they didn’t want druggies with alcoholics because the druggies could become alcoholics and vice versa. Effy didn’t like her sister hanging out with her best friend and that was because she had an eating disorder. Effy didn’t want her alcoholic sister to copy her friend, Effy knew that it wasn’t hard to develop an eating disorder and she worried that Cecilia was stopping her sisters progress, something she really didn’t want.

Effy turned to Miranda as she asked if there was anything fun to do, “not really but I guess it depends what you like to do” she began, “I either go to the music room and play or dance in the sports hall or sometimes I go play lacrosse on the sports field” she said, those were Effy’s hobbies but she had a suspicion that the girl wouldn’t agree with any of them. Effy was lucky because she got to do the things she loved, Music and Dance were her passion and the girl was so excited when her mother said that she had spoken to the school and she would be allowed to carry on, Lacrosse was just an added extra, something Effy was good at though she didn’t really try. Effy loved sport in general, she hated sitting around doing nothing or just watching TV. It was when she had broken her leg that Effy learnt to play the guitar; she got so fidgety just sitting still that her dad began to teach her and she caught on quick. Effy surprised people when she began to play and sing, it wasn’t like her, she was the sporty girl, but it seemed she was more than just a one trick pony.

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